Adjustment

Whenever we make tough decisions in life, a lot of times, Satan tries to take advantage of your vulnerability. That's how I feel right now. It's hard, because in life, things take a turn so fast that it's really hard to adjust. I mean, it shouldn't be too much longer until things become normal again, but for me, it's really hard for me to stick to the choices I make. I've let other people dictate the decisions that I make, even if I know they aren't right for me. In other words, I've let people walk all over me. It's hard to go from being a door mat to being independent of certain influences. Pray that I am able to find security in God, and that my nerves will calm with time. I know that the nerves will leave, because God has already done amazing things for my anxiety.

- Kels

Everchanging, Rearranging

So, it took me a long time to realize that things change and there's nothing you can do about it but hold on to God while it happens. I think I finally let go sometime last week. It was quite liberating, to be honest. Things have been weird lately. I haven't been updating very often for lack of time and perhaps lack of reason...I think it's almost a good thing. I haven't been much of a computer junkie as much as I have been a Wii junkie lately - but hey - the Wii is a social game system. I generally don't play alone. Except today. :P Well, this has been an eclectic blog for sure. I'll probably write something emo within a few weeks. Catch you later.

- Kels

Grace

The sky is grey and the light is far
The sea is a rage within my heart
I turn my sight to the crashing waves
I cry in the night just to be saved

I need eyes to be my guide
I need a voice that’s louder than mine
I need hope I need You
Cause I can’t do this alone

Grace I call Your name
Oh won’t Your smile fall over me
I’m cracked and dry on hands and knees
Oh sweet grace rain down on me I need You grace

I pray for dawn a new day to live
I pray for mercy only Jesus gives
Though darkness falls and a million cry
I believe over all there’s a greater light shining for us

Come down and save me
- "Grace" by Phil Wickham

In other news...I just found out that I will not be getting a job at Chick-fil-A. I need prayer like crazy for a job, because it is pivotal for me to get this salary for South Africa to come through. Pray that I can get a job that flexes around my schedule and works with my circumstances...pray against negativity, because I am extremely pessimistic about getting a job at this point. Sorry these are two random subjects just thrown together. PRAY. Please.

-Kelsey

The Girl and Her Rescuer

Alone in a dark, black cave, a young girl cried out in effort to escape a mass that was trapping her, pulling her deeper inside the place she desperately wanted not to be. She had been here for awhile now, struggling against the mass that had much more strength than she alone could handle, and she had made every possible effort to escape it. It was by her own wrongdoings that she was in this mess, and she was making a feeble attempt to free herself. The black mess pulled her deeper inside of its depths, consuming all of her but her delicate, frail head. She heaved deeply, tears streaming uncontrollably down her face, and then gave up her strength, surrendering to death itself.

She was sure of her death...she had given up, given in, but when the girl opened her eyes she saw a hand much larger than herself, reaching for her. She grasped for it with all of the strength she could muster up, but the black mass pulled her back and laughed in mockery of her efforts. The girl's heart flitted; she looked to the hand and hesitantly cried for help.

The words had barely escaped her lips, but she was suddenly cradled in the arms of this...savior. She didn't know what to say...how had he known she was here? Why would someone as noble and powerful as this be in the depths of this cave amidst a person as horrible as she? She had earned every right to be a prisoner to this cave, but this being had had compassion upon her dark and depraved heart. She was so overwhelmed with guilt and conviction as she lay curled in his warm, comforting hands. She almost desired to return to the cave and let the dark mass again take her captive...but the rescuer bid her stay...warmth radiating from his gentle presence.

The darkness was still surrounding the two, and the girl grew scared and doubtful, even in the presence of this great, noble being. A soft, whispering voice began to fill the depths of the space around them...

"I have conquered this battle that you face already.
You are precious and upon you I have bestowed much love and grace.
You are lost and corrupt without me, yet I will always love you reguardless of your blackest crimes.
You must know that you will never be alone.
Even when you walk through the darkest valley, fear not, for I am beside you.
Do not return to lands that have I have freed you from.
You are my child, loved more than you could ever fathom.
And I desire nothing more or less than the best for you.
Trust me. Pray to me. Believe in me. Follow me."

With each passing word, the darkness around them slowly turned to golden light, and as the echoes faded, the girl found herself sitting before a long, narrow path. She looked around her for the hands of her rescuer, in hopes that he would perhaps show to her his face. He was nowhere to be seen, but the girl trusted his word. The force of this being pulled her to her feet, and before her stood splendor and glory. The path looked fierce, yet intriguing...enchanted and teeming with life. The journey looked long and ruthless. The girl trusted the word of her savior, and felt his steadying pace beside her as she took her first steps away from the life she had always known, and into a new and promising one.

Politics

Uggh...politics.

WARNING: This post may get opinionated, but I am trying to get a point across. If you are going to get offended by controversial statements, I suggest that you either don't read this or ask me to explain myself in greater detail via email or facebook.

I am so lost when it comes to where our opinions should lie as Christians. I get kind of ticked off, honestly, at the lot of us. I even get angry at myself, because I think we usually find ourselves as Christians in one of two places:

1. We are so overwhelmed by the government that we take absolutely no stance politically and completely ignore the current issues. It's not as if we don't care, we just don't feel as if we have true power to change the way things are. (I am here a lot of times).

2. We have a so called political stance, but we don't know anything about what it truly means to be a part of it. For example, some of us may claim loudly that we are Republicans, but when asked critical viewpoints, we know nothing of what they claim. Some of us are Republicans because our parents are...some are Republicans because our pastors are. Others may be on the liberal side of things because it's cool or fashionable...etc. (I have also been here).

Let's address number 1. I think it's a little more respectable to not take a stance than to take a stance that we are ignorant of, but at the same time, I think Jesus does want us to have an opinion on the government. After all, it does have a huge effect on our country. One thing that we do have to realize is this: We could sit here all day and lament about how we can't change anything, how we're just one person, but that will not solve anything. We are a people capable of SO MUCH...we just have to trust God and go for it. I think something we should start doing is reading about current issues. I know I need to. I mean, we would have a much clearer view on our world if we would just know what's going on. When we as Christians are filled with knowledge and follow God's will, amazing things will happen.

What about number 2? I know at least one person will admit that they've been this very person I'm talking about. What is a Republican or a Democrat anyway? Maybe for some of us, we've really researched and are confident in our affiliation, but a lot of us are choosing our political stances based off of what our parents tell us, or pastors tell us, or what our friends or the media tells us. Don't get me wrong, parents and pastors and friends are nice and all, but I think honestly, it's not reliable enough for us to be basing our opinions off of other opinions. We need to look at FACTS. I think if we are in this place, the best thing to do is to clear your head for a while...sit down on the computer and find out what "your party" stands for. Do you actually agree with their issues? Do you find that you disapprove of a lot of their views? We need to sit down and figure out who we are and where our hearts lie on these issues.

Here's an idea all together: Maybe Jesus doesn't want us to be a Republican or a Democrat. *GASP* I know! Shocking. I'm not saying that means we shouldn't vote for a Republican or a Democrat, but maybe we should judge our candidates based off of who they are individually instead of pressing the 'vote' button because they're a lefty or a righty.

This is where I'm going to throw out some possibly offensive stuff.

I'm not trying to be a basher of conservative politics...but I want to consider some scripture and ask a few questions. I don't even know what my answer is to these questions, and my intention is not to derail anyone's conservative viewpoints.

"And if someone asks you about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way." - 1 Peter 3:15 (NLT, Emphasis Added)

"Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what not ought to be done." - Romans 1:28 (NIV)

At Altaer, we've had talks about ways to witness...and the way that I've seen it in scripture is that we should be gentle and respectful, as it says in 1 Peter, when we tell people about God. Also, as supported by Romans 1:28, it is stated that God has given us to the depravity (corruption) of our minds, meaning that...honestly, the people that do not know God are likely to be corrupt in a lot of ways. So...here's my question: If people are depraved, and they are doing their thing, is the forcing of Christian opinions upon these people going to realistically do them any good? Or is it only going to contribute to the already horrible stereotype that comes with being a Christian: narrow-minded, hypocritical, controlling, ignorant...the list goes on. I think that the better way to change people is to be living examples ourselves. We can't expect that just because a law tells a gay couple that they can't get married, they will suddenly sprout halos and become convicted about their lifestyles. The only thing that can show them a new life is Christ...not a law that forbids their love. In my opinion, forcing people to abide by religious morals only causes them to resist Jesus more...because WE as Christians are supposed to reflect Christ. When you try to force your morals down someone's throat, that person will see Jesus as someone forcing morals down people's throats...it's really that simple.

Don't hate me...constructive criticism, please. :)

"All of the believers were one in heart and mind. Nobody claimed any of his possesions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had needed." - Acts 4:32-35 (NIV)

This one, I would like someone to give me their opinion...because I want to see different viewpoints before I make my belief on this more concrete. It is really hard for me at times...to agree with those who are against all of these taxes that are likely to be enforced in the near future. I just can't see why we as middle class to upper class Americans can complain about having to pay more money...when less than an hour away from us there are people who have next to nothing. I don't know...from what I've read about Jesus, something tells me that he would be more in agreement with us living simply so that others may simply live.

Let me finish with a disclaimer. I am not saying that I am innocent of this...I actually have been quite frustrated with my selfishness recently. I admit openly to being both ignorant and apathetic of my political views, and I also am having a hard time with some of this scripture. All of the ideas posted are pretty undecided opinions of mine...ones that I am very confused about and would like input on. This is a blog that I *strongly* encourage an email response to. I would appreciate it so much for some spiritual wisdom from any of you readers that have gone through this process before. Thanks for reading...and again, none of this was meant to offend anyone, but it was meant to perhaps provoke a few thoughts about that guy named Jesus, and what he might have to say about America.

Family Interactions

I have this tendency to be incredibly aloof when I am on vacation around my family. It's bad...because I feel like my family probably thinks I'm really selfish or self-righteous about my faith or something. I have realized something that is true...I AM selfish. Whether I want to admit it or not, and no matter how many times I state my opinions on human rights, I still end up being my own worst enemy a lot of times. I think the things that we hate most in the world are qualities found in the depths of our sinful selves. I know that's true for me.

So I decided that I'm going to try to be more conscious about who I am considering when making decisions. It's the most tempting thing in the world to make the self-centered decision, but the decision that really lasts is the decision that centers around someone besides myself.

Pray for a change in my attitude and motives.

Thanks.

Paul

So, I've been learning a lot about this guy named Paul.
And...I have to be honest - he's mind blowing sometimes!

I've been reading Corinthians this year and studying it, and it is just so cool to see Paul really open up about himself in his letters, especially 2 Corinthains. There's one chapter, either 9 or 11, in which he explains every hardship he has ever been through. He'd been imprisoned, beaten, stoned, mocked, stranded, starved, cold, homeless...EVERYTHING you could possibly think of. I mean, I knew all of that in a sense, but when you see everything listed at once, it begins to overwhelm you. You start to wonder...

If that were me...would I still be as radical about God?
How could I possibly get through that level of persecution?

You begin to really respect Paul's perseverance...a quality that is really hard to possess sometimes. When storms hit...it's our culture's first instinct to have self-pity and become introverted about our lives. Jesus calls us to a different solution - the real solution. The solution that calls us to pick ourselves up when we fall, even if it hurts. To follow after God as if there is nothing holding us back. That is the kind of perseverance Paul had...and that is the kind the Lord desires for us. When we choose to handle life in that way...how many doors would open for God to move in us? To bring us into the lives of our generation and radically change the standard of living...to show people that there is SO much more than they could possibly find in this *excuse me* hell hole of a world.

To introduce a guy named Jesus Christ.